To all the supporters of Guelph-Wellington Women in Crisis,
Your support reached me.
It’s likely we will never meet in person, so I am honoured to have this chance to write to you.
I could have been a statistic. Instead, I am a survivor of intimate partner violence who received support from Guelph-Wellington Women in Crisis.
Services your donations helped fund.
My name is Lauren, and I am sincerely grateful for your generosity.
When I was experiencing escalating violence at the hands of my former partner, I sought help from Women in Crisis by calling their 24-Hour Crisis Line.
That call started a journey to safety for me and for my children. Today, I will share my story and also call on your kindness once again.
I thought I had found a partner to build a life and family with. I was not able to recognize that what I was experiencing early on in our relationship was so dangerous. When I raised concerns about how I was being treated, he convinced me that my feelings were an overreaction and that his behaviour was my fault. Over time, I began to doubt myself.
Verbal abuse and physical threats became my new normal. The violence escalated so gradually that I didn’t realize how bad it was getting until I felt too intimidated and trapped to leave.
I think it is helpful for anyone who hasn’t experienced this to know that living in a state of fear and hypervigilance wears a person down. It’s very difficult to act with clarity when your confidence has been shaken in this way.
Unfortunately, the violence in the relationship progressed and reached its peak in a serious physical assault when I was pregnant.
The older children would run over to me and stand by my legs and say, “Don’t hurt Mommy!” They started being targeted as well.
I was desperate to get my children to safety.
I felt ashamed, scared, and stuck, until I found refuge and hope with Women in Crisis.
My Transitional & Housing Support Counsellor helped me to see that I was strong enough to get out of the relationship and to keep my children safe. I felt a lot of grief attached to finally leaving. I knew the dream I had for my children couldn’t exist – we wouldn’t be a two-parent family any longer. I spent a lot of time blaming myself for the situation we were in. I kept thinking, “If only I had recognized the danger and left before I had children with him.” Talking with my counsellor was what allowed me to let that guilt go, and to forgive myself for not seeing the pattern of intimidation and abuse.
Safety planning was an ongoing priority with my counsellor, as women are far more likely to be killed by an intimate partner when actively leaving them.
My Family Court Support Counsellor helped me navigate the Court system, which my former partner was trying to use to continue to intimidate and inflict harm on me. Both counsellors helped me to understand what court abuse was and guided me through it.
Even with the Family Court and Criminal Court processes long over, it has taken a lot of emotional work to heal and feel safe.
I can’t imagine having made it without the services of Women in Crisis.
Government funding simply doesn’t cover everything Women in Crisis needs to best serve our community.
Your generosity has been vital in keeping this agency going and growing and supporting their clients in all the many ways and locations that they do, both in Guelph and in Wellington County. For nearly 50 years, Women in Crisis has been a beacon of hope; providing advocacy, education, and support.
Yet, the need for the support services provided by Women in Crisis isn’t shrinking – it’s ever higher.
So, will you stand with them once more?
Your previous gifts made it possible for me to transition from a place of fear and insecurity to a healthier, brighter future.
The fact that you’ve supported before suggests that you understand the impacts of gender-based violence. I invite you, as a part of this community of support, to renew your commitment to Women in Crisis.
Donations can be made conveniently online through the DONATE button in the top menu, or by clicking by clicking here. Your generosity is greatly appreciated.
Finally, thank you for reading my story. Thank you for your kindness, your understanding, and most of all, for your belief in a safer future free from gender-based violence.
With profound gratitude,
PS: This is Mia. Women in Crisis’ 28-bed emergency shelter is named after her mother, Marianne, who died by femicide. She poignantly shares the impact of violence on her family in this short video. You will want to watch Mia and learn more.
I also share more about my own story. It was incredibly difficult to film this, but my hope is that it will help raise awareness about what survivors experience.
I believe that feeling safe is a fundamental human right and I want other women to know there is help and hope.
Please watch our video and learn more.
